


no delicacy sweeter than you

by artsycat



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 19:19:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13324767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsycat/pseuds/artsycat
Summary: she reminds him of what could have been





	no delicacy sweeter than you

there are no words that eren can use to describe mikasa. sometimes, he thinks he might’ve found it. the word that would be able to label her whole. then, she turns around and looks at him and eren is so wrong. because mikasa cannot be labeled, cannot be trapped. her eyes are filled with wilderness, and it’s only because eren knows her for so long, so closely, that only he is able to decipher the range of emotions hidden beneath the facade she prompts to the world.

he is seventeen, and - he isn’t in love. no, time is too valuable to be wasted on such a thing as that. he doesn’t love mikasa - romantically, at least. but, he finds comfort within her. when he does something right and beams with success, his eyes search the crowd for her, and she looks at him with something akin to respect, and he always remembers her words in that moment.

_“believe in your strength.”_

he is seventeen, and he approaches her. the moon hangs gracefully in the sky, the stars glittering amongst it, and he holds her hand and he remembers his mother. mikasa has always had a way of reminding him of his past. perhaps he comforts himself with the fact that mikasa is just as haunted as he is. after all, the ghost of the dead never really seem to leave as they look at you with haunted eyes.

she says nothing, and the night goes by, the moon sinking into the horizon as the sun emerges from it’s slumber, and the first rays of dawn shine upon them. their hands haven’t moved an inch; as if they have been sewn together. he doesn’t kiss her then, but he believes she knows his intent anyways. for she is the one, to bring his hand to her lips and gently kiss them.

it’s the most intimacy eren has ever known. it is the only one he even wants to have.

he doesn’t love her then. but he thinks that he could. he knows he’s come a long way from the days when he was a boy, and he isn’t blind to mikasa’s womanhood. he knows know what jean meant, and yes, mikasa is beautiful. the ruthless sort of beautiful - like glass that would cut you if you dared to touch.

but he’s touched her so many times, and it seems that with each time he does so, she’s the one breaking, not he.

he doesn’t love her. but he loves her so much. sometimes, it’s painful, because nothing can be done about it. sometimes, he wants to tell her. he’s desperate, and she reminds him of everything that could have been. everything that should have been. a part of him wants mikasa to move on, to love another. another part of him wants her to love him only - to be a part of him forever.

his hands are in hers again and this time it’s different. they don’t say anything - they don’t need to. the words are in the air and he brings her hands up to his lips and kisses them - softly.

he loves her in that moment - more so than he ever has done before. mikasa buries her face in the scarf he wrapped around her long ago and he tells her this: “no matter what happens, i know that if i can’t find you, you will find me. so never give up mikasa, no matter what. because i will always be there with you.”

her face is red with warmth and she smiles. it breaks eren’s heart because he wants her to smile like that always.

he will miss her forever, even as she stands so close to him. the first girl he gave his scarf to. the first girl who made it hard for him to breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> please review!!


End file.
